Introduction, I Think…

I hope you enjoyed the About The Writer post. I’m a horrible writer. I know. That’s why I started a blog. I hope to improve on my writing even though, I know my chances are slim.  Anyway, All of the writing that will be published on this sad excuse of a website will be opinionated, demeaning and intentional. There will be various types of pieces being posted frequently. Beware, they won’t be good, they will lack creativity and they will be repetitive. On the bright side, they will show you what goes on inside the mind of an ignorant boy. Here’s what to expect:

Satire

Satire is my bread and butter. My precious emerald. My Michael Jordan. Everything I do (and I mean EVERYTHING) will have satire. It might peak her head for a sentence or it might be the basis of uncontrollable neurotic rant which will occur. So, anytime something seems off about my tone or if I sound inhumanly stupid, PLEASE, don’t criticize, don’t comment, don’t complain. In fact, no opinions are welcome. Don’t think.

Rants

“You do know how to rant”, said by a previous English teacher.

My rants are not persuasive by any means. Sureee I’ll make a few good points but, the piece will be entirely opinion based and not at all effective. Imagine a red faced whining baby trying to plead his case for another swig of the bottle, that’s how I come across. You can expect rants more often then not but, every now and then there will be these pieces known as persuasive arguments. Ugh, I know. You don’t have to like them. I don’t even like them but, the big publishing companies do.

Experiences

I’m a boring person with a very boring schedule, so this will be rare.

Short Stories

I’ve got a lot of ideas and the imagination of a schizophrenic on LSD. I hope to make these stories uncomfortably vivid and inappropriate. These won’t be the type of stories to read to your kid at night or the types of stories you’d want to read in general. They will be gruesome, they will be immoral and most importantly they will inspire controversy. The big publishing companies love controversy.

Conclusion

So there it is, the pathetic intro that no one should ever read. It’s really hard to understand.I really do suck at writing. I wonder if there is anyway to improve. Who am I kidding? My confidence is shot but, at least I have an encouraging friend. One that pulls me out of the hole that I dug for myself. One that rescues me when I make a offensive comments. One that will be my only character witness at my trial. She calls herself Satira.

 

 

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